Friday, September 08, 2006
Your 64th and Broadway 2006 NFL Preview
I can't wait for Sunday.
It's gonna be phenomenal when all the talking heads start coming around and saying, "Well, we all knew the Eagles would bounce back and be phenomenal this year..." No you didn't assholes. You were doubters. And you remain charlatans.
And as the Eagles plow through their schedule absolutely demoralizing opponent after oppenent, your 180's on the Eagles won't change the fact that you all aere frauds.
And when McMVP leads the Eagles to a Super Bowl victory, sweet justice will rain down over our fair country. Gas prices will drop down to $1.00 a gallon. And you will be able to pay for that in new solid gold coins which are imprinted with the face of Andy Reid. Yet every city will have a light rail as well. These cost of light rails will be taken from the money the Eagles are under the Salary Cap. They will still remain under the cap, cause the Eagles are salary cap geniuses.
Reggie White will reappear from the heavens, walk into Canton and tell them he should be wearing Kelley Green in the Hall of Fame.
Jerome Brown will rise from the dead to take part in the victory parade.
Scrambling Randall Cunningham, the greatest QB who ever played the game will be given a Super Bowl ring as a life time achievement award. The ring will be presented by Buddy Ryan, who will swallow his pride and apologize for not giving Randall a good offense to work with. Coincidentally this will be just moments after Buddy Ryan swallows Rich Kotite.
And as all this unfolds before your very eyes, somewhere in the background you will see Jevon Kearse sack Osama Bin Laden.
And we will all be dancing to Justin Timberlake's remix of Fly Eagles Fly.
And you will love it, and I will love it, and we will all love together, because Big Red Andy Reid said so.
God Bless you, God Bless us, God Bless the Eagles, your Super Bowl Champions.