The Phillies, a 162 game long nightmare.

"If there's a way for us to make a mistake, we find it...We're definitely finding it. That was Charlie Manuel after the Phils lost last night to the Pittsburgh Pirates. The same Pittsburgh Pirates that are a National League worst 30-58. This would seem to be a really embarssing loss if not for the fact that the Phils themselves are not much better at 38-47. When you come to realization that your team is absolutely dreadful, losses to the Pirates are no different than losses to the Cards, Giants, or any of the other teams in baseball who can seemingly beat the Phils at will. The All Star break is only 2 days away, and the season is virtually shot. The Phils are 12.5 games behind the mets in the division and I believe 7 or 8 out of the Wild Card. Fantastic. So let's look back at some highlights from the first half of the season shall we?

Actually, lets start with the offseason. With a rotation that was more or less questionable coming into the season the Phils traded Vincente Padilla for Ricardo Rodriguez. Going into the season Padilla was 50-48 career with an ERA comporable to AJ Burnett who got a 50 million plus deal from the Blue Jays. The Phils traded him cause they didn't want to pay him four million dollars. The Phils have since cut Rodriguez. Padilla is 7-5 with a 4.47 ERA in Texas. That would be the best record and ERA of any Phils starter currently in the rotation. Nice trade, jerks.

Brett Myers of course has a better ERA, though he has less wins. He of course could have more wins if he actually had run support. Or if he didn't beat his wife in public outside of a Boston nightclub. The Phils, in typical Phils fashion, handled the situation dreadfully and let him pitch two days after his arrest in Boston. Since then Brett took a leave of abscence. For two years we have heard about the maturation process of Brett Myers. I don't see how beating your wife in public is evidence of that. I don't care if this guy would go 13-0 the rest of the season, I never want to see him in a Phils cap again. You just don't beat a woman. That's an absolute, there is no question about it. Brett, you are an asshole and a coward, and the Phils front office isn't much better for letting you pitch after that. Fuck you, both.

Our arguable #1 starter Jon Lieber showed up to Spring Training looking like he spent the whole offseason at a buffet. He was dreadful, before being placed on the DL reinjuring himself, presumably trying to lift 7 cheeseburgers at once. Or maybe Brett Myers hit him, mistaking Lieber for his wife. His first start back was last nights lost to the second worst team in baseball (the Phils are now the worst despite what the record says).

Jimmy Rollins on base percentage is lower than my high school grade point average. That's not good.

Bobby Abreu has hit one home run in the last 35 games. He batted cleanup for a number of those games.

Mike Liebrethal is the highest paid catcher in the National League, and he is on the disabled list seemingly eternally (though he did make a rehab appearence last night even money says he injures himself today).

Pat Burell? You know, teh guy they called Pat the Bat? Has he even been playing? I couldn't tell from the box scores. Oh yeah, he is. Batting .190 since May. You suck.

Really the only bright spots are Chase Utley and Ryan Howard, and it's at the point where I feel bad that they are stuck on this team.

Last year the wild card race came down to the final weekend for the Phils, they finished one game behind. This season, hopes were high, if a bit cautious, but nobody expected this. Maybe we should have though. This is a team with more last place finishes than any team in baseball history. Amazing.